Chicken McNuggets have ruined my childhood

Thanks to a coupon that I recently received in the mail, I decided to buy a 20 piece box of chicken McNuggets from from McDonald’s.  Now, there are lots of things that disturb me about all of this.  One is the fact that a serving size is apparently 10 McNuggets.  That just seems odd to me in a world where everything else has a serving size of a spoonful when you normally eat a whole bowl, McNuggets allow you to eat 10 and that’s only one service.

Surprisingly, one of the things that doesn’t disturb me about McNuggets is not what smug bastard Jaime Oliver tried to teach American schoolchildren.

American schoolchildren may be obese and lagging behind most of the other developed countries, but at least they know that it doesn’t matter how food is made, it’s how it tastes.  There’s a reason that the hot dog is one of the most quintessential American foods.  And while I’m on the rant, while the rest of the world complains about Americans being arrogant pricks, who the heck is Jaime Oliver to come and tell us what we should and shouldn’t eat?  Can’t he start with some of the garbage the people of his own country call food?

Stepping away from that rant, I don’t care how McNuggets are made.  Frankly, if soylent green tasted good, I’d probably be first in line for it (and probably hauled directly off to the hospital because I can only assume that it won’t be healthy.)

My problem with my McNuggets is actually the taste.  When I was a kid, going out to eat was a treat and of course there was nothing better than a Happy Meal with McNuggets.  My memories, probably false, tell me that they were the greatest things ever.  And that’s my problem.  Now that I’ve made the mistake of eating them as an adult, they don’t taste as great.

It’s entirely possible that McDonald’s has made things a lot healthier now than when I was a child and if that’s the case, good for them, I guess.  Or they may be exactly the same as they were because why mess with a good thing.  Either way, my memories have forever been altered.  What used to be one of the greatest experiences on earth as a child has now been tainted by new memories of McNuggets.  If only I had just gotten a big boy sandwich this all could have been avoided and my good memories would remain intact.

And the final insult to this entire ordeal – because I ordered a box of 20 instead of a Happy Meal, I didn’t get a cheap plastic toy to play with.  On the bright side, I’m still not Jaime Oliver, so there’s that at least.


Image may be subject to copyright.  Please don’t sue me McDonald’s, I have no money left due to my wife’s Shamrock Shake addiction anyway.